Thursday, August 30, 2012

Out of the closet. 5 years and counting.

This may seem a bit out place in a travel blog. It isn't about my latest wandering to some island or something that I recently ate. For me, this is about a journeya personal one at thatof being true to myself.  

If I'm not mistaken, today marks the fifth year of my officially coming out of the closet. People are probably thinking: "Five years pa lang?!" IKR, but yeah. 

Admitting to the world that I'm gay has been one of the best decisions I've made. I was sick of pretending and I just wanted to be happy. While I've never been happier, I just hope that others are genuinely happy for me.

Here's an ancient blog entry that I dug up from my Multiply account.

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"I Always Knew"

I always knew that I was gayor at least, growing up, "different." 

As a toddler, I would wear my mom's heels, experiment with her make-up, and would pretend that I had long Rapunzel-like hair. My parents found this cute, I suppose, which explains all the preserved photos and betamax tapes. 



Wearing Mom's heels!

"How do you solve a problem like Maria?"
Pretending that I was a nun from The Sound of Music. 

I liked dolls and would hug them while I sleep!

This!
When my cousins and I would play with Ninja Turtles, they would smash and bang the Leonardo and Michaelangelo figures while I would treat my Donatello like a doll. We were 4 years old. 

I was never into sports or anything rough. Being under the sun, running around, and getting dirty wasn't my thing at all. I was always prim and proper. 



I was always prim and proper. (Up until now, I think.)

During my nursery-prep years, I never coined myself as a homosexual. That word wasn't even in my vocabulary yet. I noticed that I wasn't anything like my alpha male classmates but I never labelled myself. I saw no wrong in my mannerisms. I was just being me: Happy Henson. 

I was in Grade 3 when I officially knew and labelled myself. Being "different" went beyond being effeminate. I had my first boy-crush. At first, I had a crush on my classmate Jennifer, but I found it strange how I had an even bigger crush on her boyfriend. I kept this all to myself, though. 

My first-ever boy crush, Brady.
Since then, pabakla na ako nang pabakla. Of course, it was just recently that I confirmed it to almost the entire world (even if they already knew.) 

People would usually ask when I found out that I was gay. 

"I always knew." 

They find this amusing, bizarre, and in some cases, unacceptable.

2 comments:

  1. hahaha! Nice. true self can never be denied~ muntik na nga qng magka crush sau e~ Keep going Happy Henson!

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  2. Hi Jerma!

    Sorry to burst your bubble. Hehe! Hope to see you around the next time I visit Naga. Thanks for dropping by!

    ...Henson

    ReplyDelete